Well, I returned from the east coast with high hopes with Amtrak and as soon as I got back they had a schedule already put together for me that would extend throughout the summer because the extra board simply didn't have any room for the new hires that they brought in. The schedule included countless trips to either Portland, Spokane and Vancouver BC. The trainings also included a few weeks of day and night yard shifts. Those shifts are a six to six during the day or a six to six throughout the night.
My work with the Seattle crew base throughout the summer was filled with many emotions. I still have a passion for freight and riding on the head end of the train opposed to being in the body of the train. As an assistant conductor, I would have to honestly say that there is little to no actual railroading that takes place. My primary job is to manage the passengers of the train. At the initial terminal I would be in charge of seating the train accordingly. It's our responsibility to seat them in the train that will accommodate their stops and allow for room when we makes stops down the line. It's also our responsibility to make sure that the passengers de-train at their right stop which is essentially babysitting because it's a huge no no to carry a passenger past their station. The company will even pay to cab the customer back. You don't see that in any other form of the transportation industry. It's quite ridiculous that this is an actual thing and it seems to almost happen regularly where passengers don't pay attention and miss their stop or have no idea where they are at even though we make several announcements over the PA. We are also responsible for knowing where we are at on the rails to remind the conductor or the engineer of specific slow orders or work zones which are formally called form B's. That task is the primary job of the conductor. Make sure the assistant is doing his job and that he communicates with what is coming up even though the engineer is already aware of everything that's coming at him. The conductor also handles the passengers in business class. The passenger trains here on the long hauls compared to the trains on the east coast are quite different. For one, the speed over there is almost twice as fast as the ones that run in the NW or anywhere else in America. We're allowed to run at 79 mph compared to the 150 that the Acela will run on the east coast. That makes for much more efficient travel times. It takes the train over 9 hours to get to Spokane when I recently drove across the state to Montana and got to Spokane in under 4 hours. It takes longer to Get to Portland as well. The trains are almost always late regularly. It's never on time and the cost to travel on it isn't cost effective when compared to fuel costs in a compact car. Also, if you take anything like the superliners on a long distance trip, they all smell like absolute crap, LITERALLY. The Empire Builder and Coast Starlight both are superliner long haul trains and are so old that the mildew smell of age and the smell of the bathrooms are atrocious. It's literally a port a pottie on the rails after it's been on it's trip for more than a few hours. It makes for no comfort or no feeling of luxury or relaxation. The company is funded by the government and operates at a loss every year and would literally have to sell to someone like Warren Buffett and they'd have to move to all new train sets and get their own track rights for high speed travel to entice any commuters to switch to train travel over other forms of transportation. It's been a slowly dying and declining organization and the only highlight of the company is their operation on the east coast which almost has its own identity and is in a class of its own. Organized and well done. It's on point with its times and stations and equipment for the most part. I saw it as a different culture over there in comparison to what I experienced in Seattle. They have it down over there. I'll officially state that I am no longer with that organization. I thought it was home and it made sense because I was able to work for a railroad in my home city, yet the sounds of Montana and the anticipation of being recalled with the BNSF always pulled on my heartstrings throughout the experience.
So with all that said, here I am back in furlough status with the railroad. I took a trip out to Missoula for an interview with Montana Rail Link which seemed pretty promising but that didn't work out. I was ultimately told that they'd consider me for future openings. The last time MRL hired was two years ago, so we'all see where that lead takes me in 2018. One takeaway from this whole chapter, the experience on the east coast was a once in a lifetime opportunity. They paid for me to stay on the east coast, travel to the greatest cities over there, eat great cuisine and catch several major league ball games. I don't know where it ranks in the whole scheme of things other than a layover or stepping stone to something greater God has in store for me. Something better than Amtrak. I was never proud of the product. Crappy equipment, trains are never on time and always late, no money to invest in the product and the fear of the government pulling the plug because it bleeds money every year.. I was able to stay busy on the railroad and be around my family before I get called back to Montana.
I'm currently looking at some temporary positions that are offered specifically for furloughed employees. I'm also looking into recalling myself through a new agreement that allows me the ability to do so. At home...I have my kids. My wife left me and as of just over a month now we've been divorced yet we currently still live together which I am happy for. I still love her. She's the mother of my kids. She provided me with the greatest memories of my life, yet the difficulty of coexisting with changing hearts made it too hard to bear. It drove me to extreme insecurity and jealousy. Which isn't right or healthy in a relationship. Grace and forgiveness need to be the bedrock of being able to work through things and it just didn't exist. There's a lot of hurt on both sides and all I want for my kids to see is that we are a united front to them and that they see us displaying love overall. I want the best for them always. Her kids is a different story, their bitterness and resentment will ultimately affect them in the long run. They'll allow it to dictate their emotion and use this moment in their life to be a weight that they'll carry with them for years and years. They need a strong male figure and their biological ones dropped the ball on it and as I tried over and over to carry the torch it didn't work. A wedge and not being united on decisions it only pushed them away from me. I tried to give them that firm structure and discipline but they never had any respect which will probably affect them in relationships as well. I can only continue to love and pray for them from afar and hope that they don't allow this moment in their life to dictate their choices or emotions. I hope they don't use our failures as their crutch in life. I wish them the best and will always love them regardless the hurt that has taken place on both parties.
Next steps, is to get back to Montana I think. It may mean being away from my boys at a month or so at a time or however much the momma is willing to bring them out to me and share time together. I'd honestly hope for a reconciliation just to simply breed a better culture with my kids that quitting or walking away from something isn't in their vocabulary. That commitment still exists and two people can still work through things if God is placed at the center.
So much has transpired over this summer. As you can probably see why I haven't been blogging. It was and has always been a good outlet to share my experiences through all of this. I never would have thought in a million years that by leaving the YMCA a few years ago to go through fire academy and then to end up with the railroad a thousand miles away from my family to get laid off for several months before I got picked up by another railroad to again be off of that and divorced in the same week. I knew that there would be struggle and hard times but I could have never imagined it to turn out in this fashion. I can only to continue to lean towards the Lord and see it as his will and that greater things are in store. I've got a great God that's bigger than I could imagine, he's got it all laid out for me and trust in him. Thank you for hanging out and reading along in this journey. I hope to have an update and more to post in the future now that I have time off and things open ahead of me.
Here are some photos of the end of my summer. We took the boys to Bend and explored all the sites. I took some shots on my trip out to Montana for my MRL interview. We took a trip to the Columbia River Gorge, I took the boys to the Oregon Zoo via Amtrak for a day trip. It's nice to upload these pictures to reflect on the good times. To see that things aren't as bad as they seem. Bike rides, meals out, pool parties with the kiddos outside. Life is life and it's not so bad. The sun will shine and another season is on the horizon.
To be continued...
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