Crossroads and some R & R

  There has been a lot that has taken place over the past two weeks and I have been meaning to set aside time and place my thoughts, but I haven't been able to find the right words to describe the emotions and feelings that have been running wild. I have come to a point in this journey where crossroads are near and decisions need to be made.  With realizing that, I think the hardest thing that I am dealing with is having to make these decisions solely on my own.  I come to that conclusion realizing that my decision to make this journey was one that I made on my own as well, but I am just now seeing that this is one that I need to walk through on my own as well.  I have officially finished my on-the-job training portion with the railroad and am back in the classroom preparing for the final test which takes place in a couple of days. From there I look upon a stack of unanswered questions in which I can only find peace and rest with God, knowing that those that are out of my control are with him and his will for that upcoming chapter in my life.

The last two weeks of my on the job training went really well I think. I feel like I have a better understanding of the job and would be comfortable doing it on my own without the assistance of the other conductor on duty.  Granted, I think that the job, just as in life is at a constant learning cycle in which we never cease to learn new things with our everyday encounters.  With those final trips of going from Glasgow to Minot and back, I was saddened with the thought that I won't be doing this much longer because of the downturn in railroad volume and furloughs that have come because of it. With knowing that, I learned that I really enjoyed the job itself and the journey every railroader goes through with being on the job.  The calls at odd hours, the waiting by the phone or constant checking of the boards trying to guess how much time I had or rest I needed to be ready for my next shift.  The stays at hotels with complimentary breakfasts if I worked normal hours or if I was going to miss it due to being on duty and coming in after it.  To be up all night and pin the shades tight so I could be in complete darkness so that I could try and rest through the middle of the day.  From the van rides to go catch a train or being relieved knowing I was going to be able to deadhead the last portion of my day in one.  The stops at the gas stations for meals or getting back to my home terminal in the early afternoon knowing I should rest but choose not to so that I could attempt to live a normal life and get out among the rest of the world and function on its schedule opposed to what binds us to this railroad.  All things that the journey of a railroader sees day in and day out of their career.  My favorite would be the hotels, the opportunity to use their amenities and work out or relax in the hot tub.  A plush king bed in contrast to the 19 foot trailer I purchased months ago was something I always looked forward to with a trip to Minot.  I loved coming home in the early afternoon after being up all night, an opportunity to explore the area and go fishing.  Finding new spots to try and fly fish in Eastern Montana is like trying to spot a tree out here that's not a cottonwood.  It's few and far in between and in my case, I've found spots but have yet to catch anything at this point.  

Over that same period, I celebrated my 7th wedding anniversary.  It's far from where our relationship was after our 1st but remain blessed for the time that we've shared.  The good and the bad.  The beauties that have come from it with our our two boys as well.  Days later, I turned 36 and she turned 42 the day after.  The first time in 8 years where we spent it apart and not fishing together.  We both went fishing, just in different states and she was a little more successful than I was on those days.  I pray that the coming year brings us together again for those days  like they were before.  It's been quite the experience and am hopeful still to this day that we serve a God so big that all things are possible.  

This past weekend I felt like I needed to get away and just disconnect from the past few months of railroad training and decided to go check out the sites of the area.  So I decided to go down and check out the town of Medora which is just outside the south entrance of the Theodore Roosevelt national Park.  I went with a fellow coworker and we had a great time driving through the loop of the park and seeing the amazing sites of the Badlands.  It was a much needed trip and feel like we had a great time taking it all in and seeing all the wildlife in the park as well.  There were natural caves from a Rosian that we went into and height several areas to capture some great pictures with our phones. 

Throughout the course of this journey I have found out a little more about myself and have come to a point where I really enjoy railroading. I'm going to miss not being on trains for a while and hope that this furlough that so many people are experiencing is just a short one and that I will be able to get back to work really soon.  So many people have traveled great lengths on their own journey in life, chasing a dream,a future or a career with the railroad that is just going to come to an abrupt stop after our final test. Many Will return home in search of temporary work until recalled and a few will not. As for me the journey will continue and only God knows where the next chapter in my life will take me.  I wish all my fellow coworkers well and know that I have made a lot of great friendships in these few months that I know that will last forever.  I would like to thank you all for your thoughts, for your prayers and all of your support in this journey.