"Every second in every moment of our lives is an opportunity to make a choice to take a step in a direction for something and or for someone!"
"My choice...from this day forward, God willing...I choose to take a step forward for Him, my future, my family." "A positive direction." "Something better, not just for me, but for everything and for everyone.
Amen!"
It's day 100! Blessed I am to be home. I am very grateful of the moments I have back with my family. Whatever the relational circumstance may be in my life with those that are close to me, I cherish the simple fact that I do have family. Someplace to call home. I sit here at a movie night for my 1st grader and appreciate these times that are had. I do miss the railroad though. I miss the independence and focus I was able to have in my work. It's part of my DNA to invest in my craft and allow its work to bare fruits from my sacrifices and commitment. I felt like I was a part of something again. It definitely sucks to be departed from that for three months and struggle. I got to be home for both of my boys birthdays which was nice. I got to see them back to school, to take part in their annual fair day, to be around and share the joy of my daughter being a part of cheer and have her make the elite team. It's has its good, it has its great though it's also had its bad as well. Soaking up these moments. All of them. Growing, learning and just continuing to move forward in this chapter of my life. I'm currently just trying to get by and take things, day by day, one thing at a time.
I was able to connect myself with a great opportunity through a union paid training in Austin. It was my first trip to Texas and I got to drink up the sites of Austin, literally. It's a city known for its night life and abundance of bars. The training was very helpful and I got a chance to hone my public speaking skills and also get a better understanding of HAZMAT awareness. I also got to see the bats under the Congress street bridge. It's the largest urban bat colony that houses 1.7 million bats under the bridge and every night at sunset they set out to feed. A pretty awesome site to see. I also met a lot of fellow furloughed railroaders and was able to talk trains and get a better understanding of what the industry is like in other locations. It was a great experience and hope that the organization puts on another program before the end of the year. It definitely helped financially and the fully paid trip was a nice break as well. I got to meet new people and hope to continue the friendships with my fellow coworkers as we all head back to our homes in search for work.
Outside of the Austin trip, the countless online applications and attached assessments for employment, I've been hired by PTI. A company that used to haul me from sites while I was working for the railroad. I figured it'd be the closest that I was going to get to a train until I get recalled so I gave it a shot. It hasn't been far off from all of what has been said about the organization. The pay is not what it should be and the management isn't what you'd think when you use the word manage in reference to their title because I definitely don't see a lot of it taking place. I'll spare you the details and save that for a website like glassdoor, which specializes in interviews, salaries and company reviews. I'm trying to work around the family schedule though and they're greatest asset is the flexibility of allowing me to work a 5pm to 5am shift. The weird thing is that I'm only paid while I'm driving a crew around. I don't get paid while I'm waiting in between trips which ultimately has me working a few hours at a time and then I get off for an hour or so before I get another call to work. So I can very well not even get a paid 8 hours of work in a 12 hour shift. It's terrible and it ruins me for any sort of at home productivity. I found myself getting off at 630am on my first full night and got home to wake kids, get them ready, fed with lunches made and off to school. Thankfully, the following days were supported by Peggy filling the blanks while I'm out sucking up periods of time where I'm out cold for a few hours at a time. It's definitely not what I'm looking forward to as a long term position considering its expectation for reaching full time hours coupled with a sorry excuse for an hourly wage. The largest shocker is that it's a union position that requires me to pay dues but from looking in, I don't see them fighting for any of the employees nor are they working towards compensating them for their time. It's a joke but am doing what I can in the meantime.
As I sit here at my child's Friday movie night watching "Home," I'm definitely not looking forward to being up all night as I have to go from here to home and straight to work all night to maybe get a few hours of paid work in.
This journey continues to rewrite itself in so many ways and seemingly in so many directions. It's an open and empty road ahead without a true path because to this furlough. I miss the trips, I miss Montana and miss the dream I held that went along with that. A dream of my future and included my family and a better day. What was once a trek, or a rise from the valley of my life's tribulations continues on as an open plain with no site of seeing the beauties of standing among a peak. With that remark, it has me thinking of the beauty of the openness of an open plain, like that of the big sky of Montana. It's all perspective I guess. How we portray our days and what we choose to focus on. With that said, I'll end with my Facebook post again as another reminder of how each step needs to be sought out.
"Every second in every moment of our lives is an opportunity to make a choice to take a step in a direction for something and or for someone!"
"My choice...from this day forward, God willing...I choose to take a step forward for Him, my future, my family." "A positive direction." "Something better, not just for me, but for everything and for everyone."
Amen!
